Include Yourself

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
– Jack Kornfield

Dear Reader,

Sometimes a theme finds you.

If you’re moving too fast, you may miss it. But if you’re paying attention, you start to notice the same idea showing up in different corners of your life and you realize something is trying to get your attention.

That happened to me this past week.

I work with two different coaches. Yes, I coach others, and I also have people who coach me. I believe in practicing what I teach, and in continuing to expand my own growth. And within days of each other, both of them brought up the same thing: self-compassion.

When something arrives twice like that, I’ve learned to listen.

As I sat with the idea over the week, I noticed something. A lot of what I was reading wasn’t new to me: accepting things as they are, softening the judgment, being gentle with myself, giving myself grace. These were things my meditation practice had quietly been building in me for years. But sometimes a reminder is exactly what you need.

Sometimes you need to hear it named out loud to realize you have forgotten to offer it to yourself.

Here’s what I want to pass along, because I think we all need it more than we admit.

Whether you’re navigating a difficult business deal, having a hard conversation, or simply trying to start a new habit… you are going to stumble. 

You’re working in unfamiliar territory. You won’t be perfect. Mistakes will be made. That’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong; it’s a sign you’re actually doing it.

And this isn’t about lowering the bar or letting yourself off the hook. It’s about not abandoning yourself when you feel you’ve fallen short.

Because when you give yourself the grace to begin, to be imperfect, to mess up and keep going, something opens up. You attempt more. You recover faster. Life gets lighter, and things start to flow.

The compassion you so freely give to everyone else was always meant to include you too.

My question for you this week:

Where could you offer yourself a little more grace today?

Sit with that.

– Ken